Bonus King

Ive not used my Bet Fred account for a good while, in fact so much so that I dont even know the correct password for my account. So I was fascinated to see get an email from the Bonus King  himself today. Perhaps they have noticed that I been frittering away my hard earned with competitors and were going to try and lure me back I thought as I opened the email…

Well it sure is a devious plan :

Hi ,

Following a review of your account we are no longer able to offer you the concession of “best odds guaranteed” on any business conducted on your account, from Monday 19th August 2013.

We assure you that this decision has been taken after careful consideration and does not affect your ability to bet in any other way across our Sportsbook and other products.

If you have any further queries please feel free to contact us by one of the following methods.

Inside the UK: 0800 783 9146
Rest of the world: +44 (0) 01925 285027
E-mail: support@betfred.com

Would you like to hear more from us? At this moment we are unable to contact you with information about free bets and other offers. If you would like to opt in simply go to My Account >> My Details and update your preferences.

Kind regards,
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Now unfortunately try as I might Ive been unable to copy the nicest touch of the whole email which is a handwritten “Fred”. The line about “hearing more from them” is particulary brainless. They tell me that they are taking away my BOG on an account that they must see hasnt placed a bet for ages and then ask me if I want me to receive emails from them.

Intelligent.

They  should employ this guy who is clearly very clever- brilliant email sent to bet 365. Originally posted on http://progamble.me/2013/08/16/cut-off-from-bet365/

Hello!

My name is xxxxxxxxx and my username for my account is xxxxxxx. I am writing to you as my account was cut-off on the 4th of July 2013 due to being found guilty in Kangaroo Court of the unspeakable crime of not losing money to an online bookmaker on a consistent basis. I could understand this happening at the time, because I’ll be honest, I was in the gambling form of my life and was giving you blokes an absolute hiding. I really don’t blame you for saying ‘no mas’ and rather than complain about being cut-off, I decided to take a few deep breaths, withdraw your money from my account and purchase a shiny new motor vehicle to take my mind off things. I can send you a photo if you’re interested.

I now feel that since our relationship has had this time-out (I refuse to believe we broke-up), we both have a better grasp on what we want from each other. I understand that you don’t want to be the first to say it, so I’ll go first. I miss you Bet365. I miss sinking my teeth in to your juicy early markets, I miss biting down on your ear during the climax of a big 5 leg multi, I even miss sneaking out with you for a cheeky late night roleplay over the jumps at Chepstow. I miss every little unspeakable act, and now that we’ve been apart for 6 weeks, I hope you miss it too. I’ve been trying to re-create the magic with other sites during this time, and while they always have their legs akimbo for me, many times they manage to work their way on top. And I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, but most of the time the next morning I would wake up feeling cheap, used and with empty pockets. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror sometimes, and I can’t help but ask myself why am I wasting my life with these cheap, easy second rate agencies when I once had it all with the World’s Biggest Bookmaker? It’s like sneaking out for a random seeing to at a glory hole when you’ve got Scarlett Johansson waiting for you at home. It’s just not the same. What do you say, I feel like I’m ready to make a commitment, let’s give it another go? I feel like I’m a more mature punter, and you’re a more mature bookmaker, and we’ll be able to make it work this time. I’m even willing to stop seeing all the other floosy sites if you take me back. You’ll be my one and only, I promise! You just have to say the word.

But in all seriousness, if Samuel L. Jackson or one of your analysts takes the time to look at my account and my gambling patterns, you’ll see that I’m in no way a professional punter. I don’t just pick-out overs or be selective at all with my betting. I bet on anything, anytime, anywhere, with little rhyme nor reason to it. I simply managed to hit a purple patch of form over the first few months of this year. I’ve been a punter for 18 years and I hold accounts with 7 different agencies other than yourselves and I’ve never been close to being cut-off with any of them, and for good reason. If you hadn’t cut me off you would have won a fair portion of your money back from me over the past 6 weeks. If you reinstate my account this weekend I will be backing horses like Mantango and Mac It Is with you at Belmont on Saturday. I won’t be happy with the new car you funded for me, I’ll come back trying to get you to a fund a water-based vessel. Do I not sound exactly like the kind of person you want betting with you? The saying goes “the house always wins”, but it seems like you guys adhere to the saying “the house takes a couple of stomach punches, curls into the foetal position, sucks its thumb and waves the white flag.” Don’t take your bat and ball and go home. Let’s do this! You can do it, you’re the World’s Biggest Bookmaker! No-one gets the better of you! As the great Aaliyah once harmonised, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again, dust yourself off and try again, try again, try again…”

So I hope you consider to take me back. I promise I won’t win as much money this time and will not take you for granted again. I believe in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself.

I really look forward to navigating your wonderful website and your state of the art mobile application again. I would appreciate it if you could respond to me with your decision unlike the multiple times you ignored my requests to change the method of withdrawal for my account.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxxxxx

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Betting account closures are a occupational hazard but you have to wonder why bookmakers are so snidey about it…